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Dear Ethel Meet Ethel. The stick-to-itiveness of this gal just cannot be emphasized enough. Educated at the Sorbonne, Ethel is capable of hovering at a never faltering and precisely calibrated six inches above ground for durations of well over three hours. She is as international as the coffee brand of the same name. She has successfully weathered eleven congressional hearings. She was known in certain circles in Morocco as "Enchida the Pumpkin Eater." Everything that comes into or goes out of Banshee Werks, Ethel gets her mitts on. She's the top. A contemporary of legendary pinup queen Betty Page, in a past life Ethel did tasteful modeling for Montgomery Ward's bathroom furnishings department. She was formerly married to ruined '50s game show producer Betrand "Bertie" Malpatandalay, but that didn't go very well. A brief retrospective is available.