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Whinge

L'Amour Imbecile
posted: 03/27/07

I spent the weekend in and around Baltimore, here and there. What a swank time that was. Let me tell you not very much at all about it.

Last night, after dinner and a bit too much wine (which for me these days is any), I was watching TV and I caught a trailer for a film soon to be released in the U.S. as "Eight Women." The cast includes practically every hot French actress since the late-'30s (with the notable exception of Emmanuelle Seigner - and in case you're unclear, she's not from that series of... "films"). Making up the featured playlist: Catherine Deneuve, Isabelle Huppert, Emmanuelle Béart, Fanny Ardant, Virginie Ledoyen, Ludivine Sagnier, Firmine Richard, Danielle Darrieux.

The film debuted in Europe as "8 femmes," but I believe the working title was "L'Wanque."

Haw-haw-haw.

So here are a couple of lists detailing only a few things I do and do not miss about drinking.

Things I miss about drinking:
  • Pinot noir.
  • Everything is funny: everyone is drunk.
  • The way you can smile, especially when the lights are down low, and your entire body gets warm, and it feels like that smile is 11 feet tall.

Things I do not miss about drinking:
  • Alcoholic insomnia.
  • Being incapable of cleanly pulling off the V/II ascending-thirds resolution section of "St. Martin's" for an otherwise very appreciative and attentive impromptu crowd gathered around the fireplace.
  • Feeling like a swollen hemorrhoid on a turtle's ass in the morning.
  • Urgent and frequent urination.
  • Late-night posts, mangled.
  • Vomit.
  • Telling the story of my wholly unexpected encounter with The Fist to my friend Bill's 70-something-year-old mother around 2am at Bill's 40th birthday party.
  • Whiskey shits.
  • Closing the place.
  • Adventures in mass transit.
  • It wasn't all that brilliant, those things you said.

That will be all.

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Last updated, fixified, or otherwise jiggered: 03/27/07.